If you are wondering how to break up with somone you live with then read these 13 tips to make it go a bit smoother. Breaking up with someone is never easy, but it is even more awkward when you live with the person you are breaking up with.
How do you break up with someone you live with?
It’s harder to end a relationship when you are living together. You can’t just leave because this is where you live. If there are no longer any feelings this can make living together very difficult and stressful. Here are some hints on how to breakup with someone you live with.
#1. First of all choose the right time for this type of talk.
Choose a period in which both of you have time off work or have less stress at home. At the end of a work day or on a Friday night after dinner, when you both feel rested and recharged.
Do not break up with them in the middle of a work day or in the morning when they are rushing to get to work.
Do not break up with them when they are sick. Make sure that they are healthy and feel like themselves before you end your relationship.
Do not break up with them when they are severely depressed. If you leave someone during this time it will make them feel like they cannot trust anyone and it will also make the situation very complicated.
#2. Try Not to Hurt the Person Emotionally
The most important thing when breaking up with someone you live with, is to keep things peacful and respectable so it does not cause tension in your living space. Try to be gentle but stay firm about how things are going for you. It’s better if he/she doesn’t feel like they lost everything.
Try not to hurt their feelings. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it’s not. The simple “I’m not in love with you” or something similar might make your partner sad, but honesty above all is the best policy.
Don’t say things like “You’re a great person and we could be friends,” because they won’t want to be your friend and it will hurt even more.
If you don’t love them anymore, your partner will know that eventually. Try to let them down gently and honestly without crushing their ego or breaking their heart in the process.
Hopefully they will get over it quickly if you just tell them the truth, but they won’t ever forget about this moment.
#3. Be Ready to Explain Why
If you want to make it more clear that the relationship is over, come up with the reasons why you don’t want to date him/her anymore.
Make sure that the reasons are not something ridiculous like how they hogged the remote control from time to time. If you suspect your partner was cheating this is a better reason.
Jot down how everything has gone wrong in the relationship, how it all happened, why you feel now that its over. This will help you in how to break up with someone you live with peacefully.
You may be afraid of hurting their feelings but the best thing to do is be straight up that you are going to end things.
It will make it easier for both of you in the process. The first question they usually ask is “Why?” so be prepared to answer it with clarity.
#4. How to Break Up With Someone You Live With – Have Your Exit Plan Already Established.
Since you live in the same house it will be hard to break up with someone you live with and leave. It may be useful to have an exit plan in place. Will you be moving? Will they be leaving? Where will you move? Do you have a lease that you need to pay?
All of these things should be planned before hand so you are ready to answer those during the discussion. An exit plan can be as simple as you moving out and them staying, or renting a room in the house until they can find a new place.
A big thing to remember when you break up with someone you live with is if you are renting, your boyfriend or girlfriend may not want to move out. They could be worried about losing their security deposit, paying rent on an apartment they cannot afford, etc.
It’s important that you take this into account and discuss it with them before telling them that you want to move on.
#5. Do not quibble over material things when you break up with someone you live with.
There will be items that likely belong to both of you. Maybe you split the costs on a couch or a television? If it’s something you can share go ahead and split it between each other.
If it’s something your ex is going to have a hard time getting rid of go ahead and let them have it.
If it means getting out of that place faster you may have to let go of some of the items you really like and start fresh in a new place. This will also make the exit much easier. Material items can always be replaced and there’s no need to go into a heated debate over them.
#6 If You Suspect Violence or an Aggressive Situation Get Support First
If you suspect your parnter is going to be aggressive or violent when you break up with them, or if they control your life extremely, you should think seriously about seeking professional help.
Contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline (24 hours), this number is free to call. They can provide support and direct you towards further help.
You may also want to get in touch with your local police or health professionals, like your doctor or nurse.
One last thing you may want to consider is contacting an online support group for domestic violence survivors if you are experiencing emotional distress about the break up.
People at these groups often understand what you are going through and it can help put things in perspective by hearing other people’s experience of leaving their abuser.
#7. Keep it civil.
How do you break up with someone you live and and why keep it civil? Remember you might still have to live with this person till you find a place or they leave. There is no need for harsh words or how to break up with someone you live with in a bad way.
Remember you might still have to live with this person till you find a place or they leave. There is no need for harsh words or how to break up with someone you live with in a bad way.
This will only hurt you more in the long run. In order to keep it civil you will need to be honest about your feelings. After all this person does know you better than most people.
This isn’t a simple a subject. And the feelings you have right now aren’t going to go away easily. If at all, there might always be that small part of your heart that longs for them when you see them or smell their cologne on another person.
#8. After you have told your partner that it’s over and given them a reason, let him/her say their opinion.
This is the time to find out how they feel. This is the time for communication and compromise. If they say they’re fine and don’t see a problem, it’s over. Break up with them as quickly as possible.
If they say they’re not fine, this opens up a dialogue. They may be having difficulty dealing with the breakup and need your support. Remind them of the good times you had together. Reassure them that there are no hard feelings. This is a crucial step in their healing process and should not be skipped.
#9. Try to seperate your living space.
How to break up with someone you live with and still live with them?
If you can’t seperate completely then it would be useful if they sleep in another room after telling them. By doing this, it will give the other person time and space to think about this and hopefully start taking steps to move out or find a new place.
Living with your ex for a short period of time is difficult, but there are some things that you should keep in mind. Have you ever heard of the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’? Quite simply, if they don’t see you all the time, they will forget about you easier.
So after talking to them and trying to figure out their feelings towards the two of you splitting up, you should be actively looking to get out of there or having them move out.
Remember that everyone is different, so there are no rules on how this situation should be handled. You will both need to compromise.
#10. Schedule a time to move your things out when they are not home.
How do you break up with someone you live with and move your stuff out ?
Schedule a time to move your things out when they are not home. That way you can control the situation. If they do happen to come home while you are packing up your things, be sure to have a friend or family member around in case it gets awkward, or they get violent.
Collecting your personal items can be a huge problem when you break up with someone you live with, so be sure to plan it out carefully. Also, keep in mind that once you break up with someone and move out it might be a good idea to keep your new place a secret.
Keeping your new place secret is really important when you break up with someone you live with. If they know where your new place is they will most likely come to your door at any time of day or night.
Keeping the location of your new place a secret until you are completely moved out will ensure that your ex doesn’t find you and/or track you down before you are ready to face them again.
#11. How do you break up with someone you live with when kids are involved?
When kids are involved in the break up it is important to communicate to them what is going on. This will be especially tough when it comes to talking to your child about why mommy and daddy are splitting up. Here are a few tips that can help you in this process:
– Remember the words “we” and “I” – Keep in mind that your child belongs to both of you. When either of you speak about the breakup, use the word “we,” and not “him” or “her.” This will maintain a sense of continuity and security for your child.
– Let them know that it’s nobody’s fault – Be careful not to get into blaming either parent. Never say something like: “Your mom is so mean. That’s why Daddy left.” Such comments will only hurt your child.
– Talk about you, not them – Remember that the focus should be on you and how you are feeling. This is extremely important for younger children who might have difficulty understanding abstract concepts.
– Give them time to absorb the news – The first conversation usually goes over their heads because they are still trying to cope with your divorce. Let them know that nobody will be hurt if they need a little time to think about it.
#12. How do you break up with someone you live with and take care of yourself?
When you break up with someone you live with it is important to take care of yourself. Don’t let someone guilt you into staying in a relationship that you are unhappy in. You deserve to be happy, and your happiness does not depend on someone else.
It can be hard to leave someone you live with, especially if it isn’t their idea, but remember that you are doing this for yourself. You should not stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy, even if it means having to find somewhere else to live.
It is important to take care of yourself when deciding to break up with somone. You are to make decisions that are in your best interest. It is not easy to break up with anyone, but it becomes even harder when you have to find a way to do it while living together.
Breaking up is never an easy task, however, keep in mind that this person does not deserve the amount of anger and frustration that comes with being involved in a relationship with someone who is not fully present.
Saying goodbye to the physical part of you partner is never easy, but it’s even harder when you have to do it while living under the same roof as him or her.
#13. No matter how hard the breakup is for your ex, never ever date someone else while still living with your ex.
How do you reak up with someone you live with if you are dating someone else? No matter how hard the breakup is for your ex, never ever date someone else while still living with your ex.
This is the biggest rookie mistake. Living with your ex is not an advantage for either of you, but especially the one who wants to break up.
Dating somone else while living with your ex makes you look like a jerk.
Even worse, when you start a relationship with somone and they know you are still living with your ex, you will always be the bad guy and the new boyfriend or girlfriend will not respect you as much as they should.
Your new boyfriend or girlfriend will always have this “i came after” feeling. It is not about who comes first or last, but it is about being honest with all of your partners.
Dating someone while live with your ex will cause problems and things will get messy. When the tension is over you can start afresh with someone else!
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