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Infidelity triggers is a normal part of the process after cheating occurs, but they don’t have to control your life. Here are 10 steps to help you get past them:
1. Acknowledge the pain:
The first step is acknowledging the pain that you feel. It is important to understand and validate your feelings in order to start working through them. When you try to ignore or suppress your feelings, they will only continue to fester and grow. Underneath the pain of betrayal is a tremendous sense of loss and grief. It is important to allow yourself to feel these emotions fully in order to start the healing process. Often, people try to numb their pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol or drugs. While these may provide temporary relief, they will only serve to further delay the healing process.
2. Understand your triggers:
In order to start working through your pain, it is important to understand what your triggers are. Triggers are anything that sets off a negative emotional reaction in you related to the betrayal. These can be things like seeing your partner with someone else, hearing them say certain words or phrases, or even thinking about the event itself. Once you are aware of your triggers, you can start to work on managing them. These are best managed by avoiding the trigger altogether if possible, or by using coping mechanisms such as deep breathing or positive self-talk to get through the trigger.
3. Forgive yourself:
A major part of moving on from infidelity is forgiving yourself. It is important to understand that you are not responsible for your partner’s decision to cheat. In many cases, people who have been cheated on beat themselves up with self-blame and self-doubt. This only serves to further delay the healing process. It is also important to forgive yourself for any role you may have played in the betrayal. This includes things like being unfaithful yourself, or not being attentive enough to your partner’s needs. Again, it is crucial
How To Get Past Infidelity Triggers
4. Don’t try to do it alone:
If you want to know how to get past infidelity triggers, you are going to have to continually reach out for help. When you are struggling with such powerful emotions, it is vital to have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through. There is no need to suffer in silence. Talk to your friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate these difficult waters. Doing it alone will only prolong the healing process and increase your chances of relapsing into old coping mechanisms.
5.Focus on the present:
One of the best ways to get past your infidelity triggers is to focus on the present. This means living in the moment and not dwelling on the past. When a trigger comes up, do your best to focus on what is happening in the here and now. This can be accomplished by using mindfulness techniques such as meditation or yoga. These practices will help you to stay in the moment to avoid being lost in your thoughts about the past. The present moment is said to be a place of peace, the past is depression and thinking about the future can bring anxiety. Get past infidelity triggers by being in the moment.
6. Don’t dwell on “what ifs”:
Another way to focus on the present is to avoid dwelling on “what ifs”. This includes things like what could have been if the affair never happened or wondering what the future holds. These are fruitless exercises that will only serve to aggravate and upset you. It is important to remember that you can’t change the past, and the future is not guaranteed. All you have is the present, so make the most of it. The what ifs are a natural thought, so don’t be to hard on yourself if you catch yourself there. The problem with what ifs is they start off as a thoughtful processing and healing, but without guidance and support they turn into a tunnel of darkness.
7. Create a support system:
In order to get through this difficult time, it is important to create a support system consisting of people who understand what you are going through. This could be friends, family members, or a support group for people who have been cheated on. These people can offer you support and guidance as you work through your pain. It is also helpful to talk to someone who has been through the same thing and has come out the other end a better person. Don’t associate with people who are still deep in the pain and unable to get out, they will just hold you down. Don’t become a support system for someone else if you are still struggling, if you have not healed yourself you wont be able to help anyone else yet. Focus on your own support system.
8. Seek professional help:
If you find that you are struggling to manage your triggers or if the pain is proving to be too much to handle on your own, it may be time to seek professional help. There are many therapists who specialize in helping people recover from infidelity. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to start moving on.
9. Take care of yourself:
In order to heal from betrayal, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. This includes things like getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. To find ways to soothe yourself emotionally, you could include activities like journaling, listening to music, or spending time in nature. It is also important to give yourself time to grieve and process what has happened. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment. This is a difficult time, and you deserve compassion from yourself as well as others. Eating a balanced diet is also very important because it literally effects the way you think and your hormone balancing.
10. Have patience:
The process of healing from infidelity takes time, so it is important to have patience. There will be good days and bad days, but eventually the pain will start to lessen. Trust that you are strong enough to get through this and that you will come out on the other side a better person. The Infidelity Recovery Institute offers many resources to help you through this tough time.
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