Couples counseling can be an incredibly effective way to improve your relationship and address specific issues that you may be struggling with. However, in order for counseling to be successful, it is important that you take some time to prepare for it. Here are 8 steps that you can take to prepare for couples counseling:
1. Understand why you are seeking counseling.
It is important that you have a clear understanding of why you are seeking couples counseling. What specific issues are you hoping to address? Taking some time to think about this ahead of time will help you communicate your goals to your counselor and ensure that everyone is on the same page. Remember to talk with your partner and create some goals that both of you would like to accomplish. Make sure these goals are realistic and attainable, that way you wont be discouraged by creating goals that just wont happen.
2. Do some research.
Before beginning couples counseling, it can be helpful to do some research. This might include reading books or articles about relationships, talking to friends or family members who have been through counseling, or even attending workshops or seminars together. Doing your homework can help you get the most out of your counseling sessions. The research that your reading now is like a warm up to the actual sessions. This helps you get an idea of what to expect, so your not shocked when you get there. The more prepared you are, the more comfortable you will be, which allows you to open up, let go and heal.
3. Choose a therapist that you feel comfortable with.
It is important that you choose a therapist that you feel comfortable with and who you feel has the necessary expertise to help you address your specific issues. If you are not comfortable with your therapist, it will be difficult to open up and be honest about what is going on in your relationship. If you feel safe asking friends or family, you can ask for a referral. Perhaps they have experience talking with someone that has already helped them a lot. Remember you can also look at google reviews, sometimes that can be a great resource.
4. Be prepared to talk about yourself.
Couples counseling is not just about complaining about your partner. In order for counseling to be successful, you will need to be prepared to talk about yourself and your own role in the relationship. This can be difficult, but it is necessary if you want to make progress. When you talk about yourself, your able to validate different thoughts or feelings that you have been harboring. Sometimes as you talk about yourself, you get to also hear how your actually feeling, like a sounding board.
How To Prepare For Couples Counseling
5. Be honest.
In order for couples counseling to be effective, it is essential that you be honest with your therapist and with your partner. This means being open about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, even if they are painful or difficult to talk about. Honesty also means that you have to be willing to say things that may hurt your partners feelings, but only if they are the truth. Sometimes for us to grow, we need to say things that our partner doesn’t want to hear, but they need to.
6. Be willing to change.
If you are not willing to change, counseling is not likely to be successful. In order for change to occur, you will need to be open to trying new things and exploring different ways of relating to your partner. Changing yourself isn’t just for your partner, its for you. When we desire change its because we want a better life. The side benefit is that your relationship with yourself and partner will just keep getting better.
7. Be committed to the process.
Couples counseling can be time-consuming and expensive, so it is important that you are committed to the process. This means attending all of your scheduled sessions and doing any homework or exercises that your therapist assigns. If you find yourself missing sessions and creating excuses, you have to ask yourself if you are avoiding counseling because you are avoiding something within yourself. Your partner and you need these sessions to carry on having a wonderful relationship, if your not showing up then maybe you just don’t care enough.
8. Follow up after counseling ends.
Just because counseling has ended does not mean that your work is done. In order to sustain the progress that you have made, it is important to continue working on your relationship even after counseling has ended. This might include attending workshops or therapy groups, reading books or articles about relationships, or meeting with a counselor on a regular basis.
-By taking the time to prepare for couples counseling, you can increase the chances that it will be successful. With a little effort, you can begin to improve your relationship and build a stronger bond with your partner.