Connect with us

Dating Advice

Reasons You’re Not Finding Love
*We’re a participant in multiple affiliate programs including the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, affiliate advertising programs are designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and other affiliated sites to provide the highest quality content to you at no charge.*

is a man into you
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Everyone wants to experience love. To love and be loved is one of the best feelings two people can have for each other. Probably you want the same for yourself. Your friends and people close to you are giving you their experiences with their partners but you can’t relate but just fantasize about love. You really want to have the same feeling but it’s not just happening. You have tried finding love online and things didn’t just work. Sometimes you sit down and wonder what could be the reason you’re not finding love? Why have people been leaving yet you are good enough for anyone? 

There’s so much to love than just being “good enough” for someone. Here are some possible reasons why you’re not finding love.

You haven’t healed from the past breakups

Breakups are so painful that you may struggle to heal from them. This even makes it harder for you in the next relationship. While you think you’re past the heartbreak, the truth is that it takes longer than you think. It takes more effort than you think to get past the thoughts of a relationship that lasted for ages.

Some people say you need just one year to heal, others say you need just a few months. It depends on how you felt when the relationship ended. Were you the one who ended the relationship? Were you glad about the relationship ending? 

But if the other person is the one who ended things up, and you’re still in your first year of healing, then probably you still haven’t healed from the pain.

You’re looking in the wrong places

To find true love, you have to know where to look for. If you’re looking in the wrong places, then you will struggle until you change. It’s always difficult to find the right person for you in the wrong place. The right place to find love is different for everyone depending on your perceptions. You need to understand yourself better to know where you will find the love you’re looking for. For instance, maybe you’re going to bars to find someone yet you have never thought of having a partner that drinks. The person you will find there will have a very different lifestyle from you, and your love won’t move on unless they change for good.

You’ve forgotten about yourself

You cannot have a good relationship with someone if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. Being in a good state of mind is so important in keeping you in the right mood and bringing the best out of you. Pay attention to yourself first before paying it to others.  But if you are not in a good state of mind, and not paying attention to yourself, it means that you will not be fit mentally, physically, and even emotionally. As a result, you won’t be in a position to give your best in the new relationship. And this is probably why your relationships have not been lasting. 

You’re trying too hard

Sometimes you just have to let mother nature do it for you. By trying too hard to find love, you may be missing key signs and signals that are directing you to the right place. Take a step back and relax, then let the universe deliver the love you have been waiting for. You will be surprised to realize that it was just in front of you all this time. Maybe were just blind to it because you were trying too hard and directing your effort to a different place.

You have too many expectations

Single people are used to creating ideal partners in their minds. It’s practically impossible to find the person you created in your mind out here. Let’s say, your ideal partner is six feet tall, he’s an accountant, enjoys going out to expensive restaurants, loves pets, music, and is very handsome! They can be there, but you’re not considering other aspects! There’s too much in partners than just the things you’re focusing on. Instead of creating an ideal person in your mind, have an open mind and even go for someone with just 2 out of five aspects you are thinking of. Take them for who they are and not who you want them to be. 

It’s not the right time

Probably you are desperate for love and you really want it now! Love doesn’t come when you want it. It comes at the right time. The most important thing is to get rid of your expectations of wanting love when you want it. Instead, wait, and trust that it will come at the right time. Maybe you’re ready for love but the right person for you is in another relationship, or even struggling with their own issues and working to get better. So, keep waiting and put your trust in nature, while working to better yourself so that when the right time comes, you’re ready for it.

There are other areas you need to focus on

You might be feeling that you’re ready for love. But is it really a priority at that time? If you have young children, or a career to focus on, then you have to rethink and organize your priorities. Love can wait and will come later. But trying to combine all the stuff will divide your energy and attention, making you struggle in even all of them.

Assess all the areas in your life that need more attention and energy. You might realize that you don’t even have time and energy and put in a new relationship.


Many people come and go in your life. You are the constant. If you are always looking for the next partner, you will most likely come up short. But if you learn and work towards being happy regardless of the happenings in your love life, you may attract the right person in your life.